Why Should I Forgive Someone Who Hurt Me?

Mark 11:25   And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Colossians 3:13  Bear with each other and forgive one another.  If any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord gave you.

1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Why should I forgive someone who hurt me?  This is such an unpopular, but important, topic.  Most people have heard that they are supposed to forgive, but how could we possibly do this with some of the intensely painful things that have happened in our lives?  Recently in the news, I heard of a father that forgave the murderer of his daughter.  He spoke about how his faith caused him to follow the commandment to forgive as taught by Jesus Christ.  This forgiving action is not a normal reaction, this is a kingdom action.

Left to our own tendencies we find it easy to get stuck in a place where we nurse our hurts and relive them every little once in a while just so we can practice once more what the guilty party has done to us.  But, this won’t help anything get better.

God requires us to forgive each other.  This is not negotiable, friends!  This is so serious, that God will not forgive us if we are harboring unforgiveness in our hearts towards others.  He says if we are not able to forgive others, we ourselves will not be forgiven. The whole plan of salvation is based on God’s willingness to forgive us.

Have you seen the  movie, “The Shack?”  The topic of forgiveness is laid out in a very imaginative way.  The father of a murdered child is coaxed into forgiving the murderer by characters that are portraying Father God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. The grieving father is coached through the process and one of the things he starts to do is to say the words, “I forgive you” over and over again.  Why would this be so important to the Lord that we forgive?  I maintain that it is for our own benefit.  If we are holding on to hurts and grudges we will become bitter people.  We are not able to have a steady flow of love running through us if we dam up our own hearts with unforgiveness.   In the movie, the grieving father has become so bitter and withdrawn that he is unable to communicate love to those people that are left in his life.  Doesn’t sound like an enviable situation, we all want to be loved by our loved ones.

In my own life,  I recently had an opportunity  to practice forgiveness.  I was feeling so injured and bruised by the experience.   Of course, I found myself becoming very angry at the people involved in the incident.  If I didn’t submit to the teaching of forgiveness soon, I knew that I was going to cross over into an area of sin.  I needed to get a handle on my anger and give the experience and pain over to my Savior, or I was going to become bitter and unable to communicate with these important people in my life.

I had just watched this movie and the scene of the man repeating the words,”I forgive you”, over and over came to my mind. I knew it was the Holy Spirit leading me to forgive through this little movie clip running in my memory.  I felt pretty silly, but when I was able to say the words out loud it began to release my hurt and anger.  I have had to stop and remember to forgive again, even as I have written this account.  Isn’t this how we humans are?  We frequently must work at any kind of skill or virtue for long periods of time before we begin to master a thing.  We may have to do it over and over before the desired benefit comes.  We must keep pulling ourselves back to our choice to forgive until the event is a healed wound.  Healed wounds leave scars, but the scars no longer cause us pain.

Allow God to help you with your forgiveness work.  He is the creator of the forgiveness plan!  He will make a way for the forgiveness to come about in your heart.  After all, he forgave us for our past, present and future sins when he sent his son to die in our place on the cross.  Resentment building up inside of you will only lead to more difficulties and less peace.  Live like a sparrow – forgive others and you will be forgiven!  This will allow God’s peace to reign in your life.

Holy Spirit, come, and be our helper.  We are aware that we need forgiveness, and we must also offer forgiveness to those that have hurt us.  Work a heart-change in us and help us to forgive others.  True forgiveness heals us and brings us peace, and we all need more of that.  Allow your peace, Lord, to come as we obey your word and forgive.