Ecclesiastes 5:2 Do not be quick with your mouth. Do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.
Psalms 141:3
Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.
Proverbs 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.
James 1:19-20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
James 3:2-12
When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
At the time of this writing, I am enjoying a Women’s bible study at my church. We are studying the book of James. This has been one of my favorite books since I was a brand-new Christian. I enjoy how James gets right to the point. Since you just read the large passage of scripture above, you know what I mean. James is a book that will bring you back to humility, no matter how far you believe you’ve come.
Our failings in the area of the tongue are really something to behold! What havoc, pain and misery has been wrought by the unleashing of the human tongue! There are probably not too many places where mankind has failed that were not mostly to blame on the sin of the tongue. In the Garden of Eden, the serpent used his tongue to deceive Eve. Eve used her tongue to entice Adam and we all know where this lead; to the fall of man.
Most people can name several memories where someone said something to them that was cruel. It may go back to our childhood. A parent, sibling, teacher or kid at school said something that sticks with us, forever! If we were to examine these experiences, we might realize that the person who said this hurtful thing to us probably does not even remember it. But we are still carrying something awful in our hearts that is preventing us from healing and becoming our best self.
If you have any of these wounding memories, I encourage you to right now lay them down at Jesus’s feet. Speak out loud to Him your memory and the words that hurt you. Ask God to remove the pain of the words and help you heal. Also, the next part is to tell the Lord you wish to forgive the person who wounded you. As we acknowledge these wounds and forgive the perpetrator, we will move on from the ability of this memory to hold us. We can be free!
The authors of Ecclesiastes and James both warn of the dangers of not taming our tongues. The Bible has volumes to say on the topic of taming the tongue. Most of us know the saying: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”. This is a good summation of what the bible teaches. It is almost always better for us and most certainly others around us, if we are slow to speak and quick to listen.
Dealing with adult children has taught me so many lessons. I find that holding my tongue and listening is probably the most important thing I’ve learned about my relationships with them. This practice of holding my tongue and listening more than I speak, has also helped me in my relationship with my husband. I’m going to go so far as to say, this is one of the most important lessons I have ever learned to improve relationships. When we are quick to listen, we will come to understand the other person better. When we are quick to listen, we don’t jump to the wrong conclusions as often. When we are quick to listen, people will enjoy speaking to us more frequently. When we are quick to listen, we can offer something of value when we do speak.
Father God, let us be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. Dear Lord, help us put a guard over our mouths so that we may not harm others with hasty words that we cannot retract. Help us to be mindful that we are on earth and you are in Heaven, so our words should be few. Lord, we pray for your forgiveness where we have wronged others with our words. If we need to issue apologies, help us to do that soon and with loving kindness. Let our words be kind, encouraging and full of Godly wisdom when we do speak. It’s just an impossible job to tame our tongue. We acknowledge, Lord, that we can only do this with the assistance of your Holy Spirit. May He work in our lives to bring us more self-control as we speak. Let me be a child of few words and listening ears. Help us Lord, we pray.
In Jesus mighty name, Amen.
